Couples carry on parting but families stay popular
Though the rising incidence of divorce and new forms of cohabitation have challenged the institution of marriage in recent years, it is still popular with Greeks. And the majority of those whose marriages fail (75 percent of men and 66 percent of women) remarry. Though the number of marriages in almost all European countries, including Greece, has fallen 24 percent since 1970, the large number of Greeks who marry and remarry indicates that they do not reject the institution of marriage, but specific partners. A Eurostat poll of European countries, conducted in 1996-7, found that 74 percent of Greeks questioned believed that those who wish to have children should get married or would do better to marry. And in fact births outside wedlock in Greece amount to no more than 3 percent of the total. The picture is different in other European countries. In Britain, for example, 53 percent of the sample declared themselves in favor of marriage for those who wish to have children, as did 63 percent in Portugal, 52 percent in Italy, 61 percent in Ireland and 54 percent in Germany. The Swedes, by contrast, were more progressive, with 70 percent agreeing that it is up to the couple who wants to have children whether they should marry or not. The same view was held by 65 percent of the Dutch respondents, 63 percent of the French, Danish and Spanish, 53 percent of the Finns, and 50 percent of the Austrians and Belgians. Divorce is on the increase. Though no more than 10 percent of marriages in Greece ended in divorce in 1991, by 1996 the number had doubled to 20.6 percent, a record figure for the decade. As Greek Statistical Service figures show, that year also had the lowest number of weddings. Data from the Archbishopric of Athens indicate that one third of church weddings ended in divorce in 1999, with 2,119 divorces from 7,450 marriages. The first five years of marriage appear to be decisive, with the vast majority of divorces occurring during that period. Marriages that produce children are less likely to end in divorce. In 1996, for instance, 3,543, or more than one third, of the 9,360 divorces granted involved childless couples. ‘People marry because they want to’ Kathimerini asked psychiatrist-psychoanalyst Michalis Athitakis about the extent to which simple cohabitation is replacing the traditional model of marriage and family. The image we get doesn’t necessarily reflect reality, says Athitakis. There is in fact an increase in the number of divorces and of unmarried people living together, but this does not mean that the institution of marriage is undergoing a crisis. The social context, social acceptance of divorce, single-parent families and unmarried couples living together, makes those choices easier than they were in the past. Marriage is a lasting institution. Choosing to marry is a substantive choice, and not a social imposition. People marry because they want to. This means marriage has proved effective and functional, and so far no other solution has been able to match it. Marriage serves basic reproductive, economic, psychological and educational functions. It has structure and roles for the participants. The allocation of roles according to gender has changed considerably in recent years. The patriarchal model of the family has been abandoned and we have gone on to the modern nuclear or single-parent family, while work has reduced or eliminated the dependence of family members. Marriage is a comfort for the individual, it insulates us from the rapid changes which we must all adapt to. As for the increase in the number of divorces, Athitakis says the greater ease in obtaining a divorce nowadays, compared with the past when divorce was a stigma on a family, means that most surviving marriages are solid. The rising number of divorces derives chiefly from the independence of the partners and a wider range of choice, he says. Divorce can be better Sometimes it’s better for a couple to get a divorce than to stay in a troubled marriage, in a relationship that causes great tension. Besides, a marriage might break up, and the couple’s relationship might end, but the family doesn’t break up. When unmarried couples with children live together, the issue is how comfortable each of them feels about commitment, according to Athitakis. It may be a specific choice, he explains, arising from earlier experiences (such as the divorce of their parents). But a stable relationship doesn’t bring the family into question. It may bypass the legal part of marriage, but it conforms to family structure and functions. And the children of unmarried partners are not necessarily affected. As Athitakis says, Just because a couple is married doesn’t mean that everything works out well, or that if they’re unmarried that everything goes wrong.
