Eurovision conspiracies

A «secret combination» has unhinged the nation. And the nation, well indoctrinated over the years, is now being asked to believe that we, natural-born winners, were granted third place at the frivolous Eurovision Song Contest because of some dastardly scheme to snatch the top spot from us. «Alliances robbed us of first place,» proclaimed some of the more nationalist-minded TV stations, while in-depth analyses of the event abounded from Eurovision «experts» and veteran songsters, as well, of course, as from the Thessaloniki prefect, who probably believes that he should represent the country next year and finally give Greeks a chance of seeing their dreams come true. Because history has a taste for a good practical joke, we even heard people sitting comfortably in their glass towers and hoping for the return of the Soviet Union so that all those «impossible little» countries could not vote individually and usurp the throne from Greece. Bolshevism in the service of Eurovisionism… And here is the big revelation: Perestroika, Gorbachev and the Balkan wars were all a plot, an evil plan to rob Greece of its victory in Belgrade. We could make light of this predisposition to conspiracy theories if we did not use them as a key, the only key, to explain away all the ills that befall us as individuals or as a nation. With the same ease that we blame teachers of having succumbed to outside pressures when they don’t give our children passing grades, or referees for being on the take when our team loses, we like to blame outsides force when things don’t turn out the way we want them. What did Greece coach Otto Rehhagel say when the national soccer team put in such a poor appearance the other day? That it is typically Greek to believe that we are better than we really are.